“Instead we got a guy who can’t find his asshole with two hands and a flashlight.”

Say what you want about her but she is graceful yet tough as shit and a fighter. If only she had won... Instead we got a guy who can’t find his asshole with two hands and a flashlight.

I wish Oprah had also not exploited Lindsay Lohan. I’m really tired of Oprah being treated like a patron saint of America.

I really wish that Oprah had never brought Dr.’s Phil & Oz out of the grays.

I think this is super exploitative of Dr. Phil, but it’s exactly the kind of thing I expect from him. 

this is what happens when help is not available.

this is what happens when help is not available.  

I’m missing Dubya at this point

It totally weirds me out that I actually miss Mittens Romney. I’m not even kidding around. I seriously miss that guy right about now. Not a huge fan of him or his politics, but compared to Trump... jesus, I’d pay some serious money and blow a whole lot of people to make him the president-elect at this point. …

He also has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. The guy does not look like his long, shrill life has treated him all that great, and he looks cadaverous and winded pretty much even at the top of his game.

Swamp not so much “drained” as just “dyed a different swampy color.”

Yeah. Oh god, we’re so fucked.

Glass half full? At least he won’t be the Supreme Court nominee.

Time to stop tone policing the doomsday comments and make myself right with the Noodly One.

Guys, if you can, and even if it isn’t much, support the Guardian. They reported on several scandals other ignored (Homan square -illegal prison in Chicago-, torture by the military, counting the killed by police while no official stats exist, the Greenwald analysis) AND they follow up on issues (Flint, corruption).

One of the great indignities this week has been watching all of these once-thought-dead conservative assholes rise from the grave.

He speaks like the Alzheimer’s patients I used to care for.

I chuckled at “determine who are the terrific people.” He knows like 4 adjectives. I laugh in order to not cry.

I had a weird dream that I let Vladimir Putin grope me, then chloroformed him so that I could go shopping with my mom.

When I was 18 years old I had a ton of money saved up from working summers before college. My friends and I decided to do a trip to england on our own money and stay with my family’s friends there.