Assuming the kid will ever learn to read is kind of putting the cart before the horse.

Here you go:

How is it possible for a person to be this wrong

“Good! Don’t take his name. By the 3rd or 4th wedding it’s just a hassle.”

Lena Dunham, the perfect candidate to make gay marriage about herself.

As feminists, can we all band together to stop shaming women who, through their own personal choices, desire to take their husband’s last names and have their father’s walk them down the aisle? I am sick and tire of explaining myself to supposed feminists judging me for my personal choice. No, I am not pandering to…

I mean I get that getting married isn’t just about the wedding day it’s about the marriage but like. I thought it was sweet when people told me I’d make a beautiful bride, I don’t see what’s wrong with saying that. And I totally did make a beautiful bride. So there.

I am sick and tired of these motherfucking cats on my motherfucking plane!

Yeah, I thought the lake scene was basically filler, that went on for far too long.

I’m not really liking this season.

Reports out of Alouettes training camp say that Michael Sam was having a hard time adjusting to his role in the 12-man CFL defensive scheme, where teams generally employ a fifth defensive back.

I will never get over how Ming Na Wen is 51.

Agents of SHIELD ftw!

Leicester City has announced that the Pearson, Hopper, and Smith are to be suspended indefinitely, starting immediately. Team officials cited their own internal standards of professional conduct, which requires that all players film potentially embarrassing videos in landscape.

This is exactly how I see Zach Braff! I know someone who was a day player on Scrubs and one day Zach Braff just kind of went off on one of the crew members, like a PA or something. And he was saying stuff like, “I can have you fired...you’re nothing...” Bill Lawrence chimed in with something like, “Be nice, Zach...”…

OK maybe it’s just because I’m a godless atheist and am just generally puzzled by declarations of faith, but I never know what to make of people who tell themselves and each other that God has forgiven them. First off, how do they know? Did they get something in the mail? Second, generally God isn’t the victim of…

Or just don’t fucking travel with drugs.

“My husband can’t throw these people under the bus and catch them at the same time!”

I fucking love that Tom Brady is hated by the people that actually know him, just as much as I hate him.

Yeah, this definitely seems like the kind of thing that would go on without Belicheck knowing about it.