Awww, you’re adorable.

Did you just fail to finish reading that sentence? Here, let’s try again:

Did you read the part of the sentence that comes after your quote? Because the rest of this is bullshit.

Subway has been exceeding my expectations for years. I used to think nothing could be more disgusting than the smell of a Subway restaurant. Then I wound up being forced into eating there and I realized “No. It somehow tastes worse than it smells.” But in the past few months, between the Jared bullshit and this, turns…

I baconed all over her face.

I’m an atheist pescatarian, and I can assure you I am a total nightmare.

Except the one about the Jesus statue. That would have been awesome, and since Jesus was all about feeding the poor, I would have boxed up his meal and eaten it myself later after they left. After all, he wants people to eat his body, I don’t think he’d be pissed if someone ate his entree instead.

Oh, you weren’t serious? I couldn’t discern that from the the overall tone of the dozens of doubling-down, defensive, and petulant comments you’ve made in the last two days.

Wasn’t Plath calling herself cow-heavy, though? Big difference between “OMG I’m such a cow” and “OMG gurl peep this heifer over thurr did you see what that cow is wearing?”

I dunno, I generally think there are more feminist things in the world than calling a woman “cow-heavy.”