Perfect metaphor for America right now. Nobody but a fucking asshole wants the president we have, and nobody but a fucking asshole wants to see this team in another Super Bowl. Just one more thing to endure.

there was confusion between CBs Desmond King II and Casey Hayward Jr. over

I was almost hoping for a Rams/Chargers Superbowl just so it could be NFL broadcast nightmare. It would be the lowest rated game ever.

you know what they say about wheat rounds: it sure almost approximates much better breads. 

I immediately thought “dick first” not even wondering how this would be possible. 

David, I expect better. This is cleared JNCO sponsored content disguised as “regular” content, and I resent you not tagging it as such.

yeah, that guy definitely has a collection of human hair somewhere. 

#neverforget

I still can’t quite grasp that we may never see the fully realized JNCO’s Surge Stadium (Sponsored by: No Fear).
It was gonna be super bitchin’, bro. 

Eh, for what it’s worth, the article got picked up by the Google news algorithm not long after publication, which meant it was getting dumped directly into the feed of every Google user who has an alert setup for “Elon Musk.” For one thing, that’s a lot of people, only a very tiny fraction of whom are regular Deadspin…

Maroon 5 at the Super Bowl is going to make Justin Timberlake’s unseasoned performance seem almost exciting in comparison.

Vid or it didn’t happen. 

What is this, the NCAA?

Shit, I’m a middle aged white woman and I didn’t even know they were still around, much less that they are supposedly still ‘big’? Really. I mean, yeah I don’t listen to any radio that would probably play them but... Are they the ones that did that song “Unwell”? That’s all I can think of.

lol, I’ve never heard that but the thirstiness checks out.

Just FYI, when I get back to my computer from the bus stop I’m gonna ban everyone who came here to defend this doofus. Thanks.

Maroon 5 sucks, their music is pointless, Adam Levine’s face is weird, and the musical tastes of young people are horrible if this is the most popular musical entity of the 3rd millenium to date.

SPOILERS (without being too spoiler-y).

Yes. Your kid will FLIP for this movie.