You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me.

I pay $45 a month for my flip phone that I barely use. It’s great.

Summer is BULLSHIT. It’s KING BULLSHIT OF SUCK MOUNTAIN.

The first time I watched it last Labor Day weekend was coincidentally the night before I last had a really bad hangover. Coincidentally.

The Zippo question is legit.

I disliked him even more when I heard him say his name because he said “mack-lemore”, not “mackle-more” and I thought “who the fuck are you putting on airs??”

Still dirty!

Hey, be fair, he faced down *this* guy, and that’s no mean feat!

And here comes the bidding war.

“GOIN’ ON, FEELIN’ STRONG!”

It’s not just for Detroit anymore.

I was looking for a wing line. You found it.

LORD

You bring up that one game EVERY TIME!

WEEEEEEEEEEAK

WHOOOOOOA, are you trying to say the north has claim to “barbecue”?

One Fourth Of July I decided to do Eddie’s father’s rant as Alec Guinness to amuse myself.

I somehow restrained the elephant honking laugh that was starting to come out.

I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.