They've given the award of AT&T availability in your area*.

Hopefully, he does a duet with Eddie Methodmayne.

Rape is so hot right now.

The fan fiction writes itself.

disable SPOT.IM.

"Till it happens to you, you won't know."

I would let him preside over my vagina's Senate.

Nay for yo rape!

Sexual abuse FTW!

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Cinematic Universe

Is that the superhero who is an alcoholic dad making lunch for his kid?

I feel like there's gonna be a Butterfinger promotion where the winner gets to be #68.

Is he the only one who is completely nude in the MCU?

And Ann B. Davis as Alice.

I don't space remember.

Unfortunately, space Corey Haim tied to him to his throne with some '80s exercise equipment and he had to steal a child's space tricycle to catch up with the action.

A scene where Captain America schools Star Lord on modern society should be in order.

Nuh nah nah nah
Nuh nah nah nah

Maybe make him slip on a banana peel.

Put him in a bodybag.