boom

Lol, Boston Market still exists? The last one in my city closed aaaaaages ago

CLAUDIA IS A MEMBER OF THE DEEP STATE!!!1!

fuck yes

self-proclaimed Tesla investor

“Free chips and salsa, unlimited refills”

“So finally I got the Googolphonic, the highest number of speakers before infinity......it sounds like shit”

* Who the hell uses a Q-tip outside of their home anyway?

“Can you imagine a world without any Kardashian-Jenners?”

You’re probably talking about the modem, rather than the router

I’d never even heard of Macy Gray until she flubbed the national anthem at a football game the previous year

The Minion! Starring Dolph Lundgren!

You can’t really bowl, mini-golf, or play tennis after knocking back several drinks.

“This is not who I am”, proclaims anyone and everyone who most definitely is

I once ate a large size serving from an ice cream shop using just the little taste sample spoon

Conservatives have no thinking skills, no object permanence and no ability to look inward, ever. They will forget all this as surely as they’re ignoring it’s happening at all and just move on to whatever bullshit they think is evil from the left. I’m looking at my Republican voting Mormon family who hate Trump…

2024 GOP ticket is Cotton/Hawley, I’ve been saying it for months now

Womp womp

Two words: Jambon Beurre

[an entire busload of Kardashian-Jenners has entered the chat]