Ok, go back to impotently fantasizing about beating up people who “appropriate” your professional attire, dickhead.

Ok, go back to impotently fantasizing about beating up people who “appropriate” your professional attire, dickhead.

“Sentient meat column Channing Tatum”

Yeah, my knees hurt and my eyesight is crap and I have too much hair in my ears, but fucking hell I'm glad I'm not a youth now.

100% chance this thing tried to molest her.

Perfectly illustrated.

I accidentally clicked on them once in the last few months, before I noped out of there I noticed all the bylines are just deadspin staff. They're so toxic that they can't even let their writers acknowledge they work for them. Amazing implosion.

Ok silly bitch. Wash the fish stink off before you get your shit kicked in though, not interested in smelling like some thick as shit deckhand after I dispose of you.

Ok silly bitch. Wash the fish stink off before you get your shit kicked in though, not interested in smelling like…

Shut the fuck up, salty twat.

Shut the fuck up, salty twat.

I’m not too proud to admit it: yes.

Yes, a politician's personal brand is more important than their policy positions and experience. Welcome to America.

I’m officially bored with the Aunt Becky Olivia Jade Mossimo No-Lips saga. The writing is terrible, the characters shallow and undeveloped, the stakes are low, the conflict banal; ultimately there will be no catharsis to reward the patient reader.

Jesus fuck. Go away! Goddamn, how many fucking hints do you need?

They’re only a problem when people insist on listening to them or voting for them or not outright laughing in their faces whenever they pretend not to be evil shits.

HFaM is my go to excuse when my lovely neighbor suggests a playdate with my son and her demonspawn who will doubtlessly receive an anti-social personality disorder diagnosis as soon as the DSM will allow it.

She managed to lose to Donald fucking Trump. Tell me more about unlikeable and ineffective.

Bloodless wraiths are known to be naturally thin.

There once was a couple named Gianulli

“Lady Drawer" looks like a particularly distasteful euphemism, and let me just say: that's not where the plan b goes.

I don’t even give a fuck any more. I just want to submit my November ballot with a big check mark next to Who Ever (D) and take up a self imposed ban on all media for the next 10 months.

Try now.