But how else am I supposed to understand modern politics if I can’t equate them with Potter characters?!?!

You can’t age badly if you never age points at forehead

A couple months ago, after seeing my abusive ex at a show we were at, I told my husband about his raping me almost 20 years ago. It was the first— and only— time I had said the words outloud. I have been with my husband for over 15 years. Hell, it took me over a decade to even admit to myself that what happened with…

Offset would drown his sorrows in someone else’s vagina. He’d be fine. 

A Jeep Wrangler is a terrible car

Neutral: How Does Ford Bounce Back?

I really wish it had been in the books (in no small part because I am bi myself). I honestly love the humanity it adds to Dumbledore “yea, when I was young I meddled with the dark side because my hot boyfriend wanted to because I was tempted by power.” Also, why is Grindlewald being played by Johnny Depp? Aren’t we…

The hot oil treatment that they really need is the kind that they used to pour from castle battlements

Post Malone = The Musical Personification of Florida Man

I like that it looks like he’s being followed by the shadow of batman

I think it just depends on the part of the country they’re from. Though even with Yanks you quickly start to notice there seems to be only a BioWare RPG number of face templates that quickly start repeating.

LISTEN Jez.

The most impressive thing about Chuck is that he managed to break the sound barrier while the X-1 was dragging the weight of his enormous balls.

One night in a little saloon in Fort Stockton, Texas, I ripped a man’s leg off and beat another man to death with it. The West Texas desert ran red with blood that night, my friends, and it pooled underneath the I-10's overpass and I bathed as a grackle does in the puddled muddy water of the rolling thunderstorms…

2018 is the stupidest fucking year.

I have Jesus band aids. They’re not very good though, they fall off. I’m sure that’s symbolic of something, but I have no idea what it would be

Bieber has foregone a prenuptial agreement in his marriage to that Hailey girl.

Spielberg has spent the better part of the year looking for stars for his movie

Pete Davidson joked about replacing Ari’s BC with Tic Tacs or something, she told him to shut up.

I thought she was just explaining once you have Captain America you are forever horny. I think I would be.