How is this even possible? How can they all not stand up and leave. Jesus.

“John Waffles" was really the clincher here.

Top photo updated with big heads

Interesting. Now, would you ever entertain a not-leaving-Jezebel conversation

NOOOO!!

Bobby...

PREEMPTIVELY SAYING THAT BOBBY WILL STILL BE WRITING FEATURES FOR US THANKS (ugh i don’t want u to go my bb)

Truth. I and the women in my life routinely use “it’s fine” as a phrase that means “it’s absolutely not fine, but it’s not worth the drama that the truth will bring up.”

I give it 5 years before Tom Hanks plays an airline captain who is forced to ditch, then is taken hostage by local pirates only to escape and live on his own for years while awaiting rescue.

Screw Flake! His speeches mean NOTHING when he votes with Trump! Good luck with that presidential campaign.

He’s retiring from office and has gone on record as being anti-trump. There was no reason to endorse Kavanaugh. None.

Ehm. Why no mention that Assange hid in the Ecuadorian embassy after fleeing Sweden to avoid being prosecuted for sexual assault?

no, its french, it wont get as far as a fire.

In what world is Bella Hadid only 21. She looks like a grown ass woman. I think she’s beautiful, but I also think she looks like a hot divorcee with a young child at home in that pic. 

“Thank goodness he’s black” is also a phrase no one at Fox News ever uttered.

Am I the only one that really hates the part where he ordered her to remove her make-up, then wiped it off himself?  Like, maybe don’t, BRAD.

Hoooo my god, I had to stop halfway through.  It was like torture and then I was like, wait, I don’t have to do this. 

Taylor Swift is not appearing in “Cats”. She’s *becoming* a cat, as in through extensive plastic surgery and gene manipulation. Because why not?

(the film doesn’t even really specify her poison; we’re just left to assume it’s some cocktail of drugs and drink)