“...or that coworker who won’t shut the fuck up about how nice her skin looks ever since she stopped eating sugar.”

BaE reads like he wants the chance to break up with her. The comments about how the tables have turned with him being out of her league (to, what, her being out of his league?), and how he needs to confirm he’s out of love with her. I think it’s less about closure, and more about being the one who got dumped.

“please don’t contact me, live your life as if I don’t exist anymore,”

Hey Broken and Empty,

Let me give you some advice from someone who’s been down this road (or at least a similar one; our situations are not quite the same): you got all the closure you’ll ever need (or that she’ll ever owe you) when she told you not to contact her.

That’s it. It’s over. Don’t be Adele showing up out of…

The BaE story makes me think there’s a lot more from the GF’s side that’s being left out. Even from his own story, he basically admits that he was horrible to live with for the past year; she has no obligation to him to give him anything or any time to fix himself, especially after she already put up with it for said…

I agree, and the fact I base it on is that this doesn’t look like the Joker.

Disappointing, he just looks like a guy who’s terrible at putting on clown makeup.

This one got me.

I always felt so bad for Jerry... and apparently the writers did, too. Hence Christie Brinkley as Mrs. Gergich, the three beautiful daughters and giving him a giant wang.

I never understood the Andy love either. Or the ongoing Jerry joke.

both of Paranormal Activity 3 and the documentary Catfish

Hailey Baldwin’s wig needs an upgrade. yikes

When you’re tired and you misread the raptor part and imagine a Jurassic Park sequel about the jerk who buys a house right by the park and then incessantly complains.

Those are clearly fish lips, not duck lips, GODDAMMIT

Was Ethan Hawke up for Will Smith’s part?  I can’t even picture that, I know Ethan was really popular then but you don’t really get ‘military pilot’ vibe from him.

I mean OR she’s correct but she still doesn’t have a chance against a powerful witch like Beyonce, so she shouldn’t have tried to sue because it’ll only get worse now.

You and Bobby both making me click on links to get my celebrity gossip fix...I don't like it!

I mean...I don’t actually find him attractive? He kind of looks like the *description* of a hot guy, not an *actual* hot guy. Like the La Croix of dudes.  But YMMV.

This guy, however, gets it.