They made him the offensive coordinator? That’s a waste of his talent. He needs to operate the defense. He’s the master of the blitz(ed).

All those homes. How can he even walk around with a keychain that big?

Really, how hard was the hit? Did Alexander ring Graham’s bell?

You’d think someone could have leaked just a little, right?

Whatever his policies may be, his war face sucks balls. He fires a minigun with all the passion of a mildly annoyed commuter sitting through a traffic jam.

I love how you can’t immediately be sure which one’s gonna get it. Then in a moment it clicks - yep, that’s the one. Delicious.

Everyone hates tow truck drivers, until some dipshit blocks your driveway.

It balances out perfectly when you consider Sherman was acting very defensive.

I see what you did there. Set yourself up for a combo. “Nice” work!

If we as a society think that executing people is OK, but we don’t want to torture people to death, why do we have such a hard time coming up with an execution method that does the job painlessly? According to other comments here, it seems pumping them up with morphine isn’t feasible.

Wow. I’ve heard of people not giving gifts on Christmas in favor of going out and helping in the community at a shelter or something. But I can safely say I’ve never heard of denying kids gifts simply to teach them the lesson that the world is fucked. I mean, I might have heard it as the backstory of some cartoon…

I’m sure his job prospects would have been slightly better in Columbus or Pittsburgh or Ann Arbor.

Their choice in jerseys in not Suh-prising.

Sure, that’s what you get with your fancy computer imaging. But when you physically mash their faces together until they stick, you get this:

Donald Trump = Robert Baratheon

Wait ... Meat Loaf didn’t die too, did he? NOT MEAT LOAF!

That’s a damn fine way to deal with a Libertarian.

Except for the fact that if a journalist ever felt the intimidation was really getting to them, they could just, you know, quit their job.

I hope his penis turns into one giant saddle sore.