It would be interesting if the perpetrators are tried as adults for distributing child pornography of themselves.

Why not stuff it into an envelope and mail it off to a charity? Barring that, why not a good old coke binge?

The adults on TV seemed to always made a big deal about who was “sleeping with” whom, so I cleverly figured out that they were talking about sex. Sex is sleeping with someone! Eureka! I also knew that sperm came out of the penis. My concept of a vagina was nonexistent — I knew women had a patch of hair on their crotch…

It took a world war to settle the matter, but we finally know the truth.

Hello, windshield blinds? A little privacy would be nice - both for sweet lovemaking and for when I’m driving it. Wouldn’t want people to know I drive this little fuck truck thingy.

Where did you hear this? Did Steve tell you that, perchance? Mmmph, Steve.

I’ll take your word for it about the premium Papermate. But the standard model is dog shit. I can’t understand how a company can get by for so many years claiming to ship “pens” when what they’re actually shipping is little plastic sticks filled with ink and sealed shut at the end.

I’ll take your word for it about the premium Papermate. But the standard model is dog shit. I can’t understand how a…

Are we sure this was the real Hideo?

Anything but Papermate. Those things write like dead twigs.

Anything but Papermate. Those things write like dead twigs.

The preview doesn’t show the monster. Is this him?

I’d have opted out of the evacuation. “No, it’s fine, it sounds like this all the time at home. I prefer to keep shopping if it’s all the same to you.”

Oh hogwash. Extremely wealthy universities don’t keep highly-skilled lawyers on retainer. That’s really expensive! You think USC got rich by throwing money at attorneys? Me, I always put my faith in the random internet commenter who claims to be a lawyer but admits he’s a total outsider to the case. Can’t lose.

Looks like I don’t have to share a bathroom, which is a step up.

Change that “a.m.” to “p.m.” and I’m with you. But three or four drinks with an early lunch is only normal if you work graveyard shift or are retired.

As long as the kid can’t climb out and she has safe toys in there and you can hear it if she screams, then no, it is not bad.

It makes pooping at work seem like a bastion of privacy and personal space.

Does anyone know the story behind the haircut? Is it supposed to say “I’m so rich I don’t even have to give a fuck,” or is it more like “I’m so rich nobody has ever had the balls to arrange an intervention”? Or is it “Being rich is nice, but what I really like is making people think I’m mentally handicapped”?

Not such a good idea to walk around dressed like that doing gun twirls. Sooner or later — not saying it’ll happen soon, necessary, but eventually it WILL happen — someone’s going to throw a hornet nest at you just to see how well you deal with it.

“square-jawed TSA agents”

It’s fine that they take the plates away. But why must they take the cocktail menu away immediately after we’ve ordered? How am I supposed to choose my second quirkily-named, over-sugared house drink if you clear the list from the table before I’ve even had my first?