To exercise a protected freedom of query, are we talking attractive or Kalamazoo attractive?

Chris Fowler makes $6M per annum? He just lost his starting gig. That salary is excessive for a second-string presenter. ESPN cannot afford the luxury of keeping Fowler on the roster and has not denied reports they plan a salary dump of Fowler's remaining 8-year contract on Fox Sports 1. The upstart network has…

Tiger, Tiger, glutes too tight,

So, he was recruited because a BYU assistant thought him light on his feet during pickup basketball two years ago.

Go back 30+ years, and how were we supposed to know Jarmila wanted to be Bruce Jenner and he she?

Roger Goodell pees in the sink.

If the Cubs win the 2015 World Series, it would seem fitting, sad, tragic, appropriate, wrong, and might explain a few things.

The NFL would aggressively fine Helen Keller.

From Biography.com:

Colts Blare Their Snare in Unfair Air Err in Ne'er Fair Pat's Lair

Woe is me...cannot summon the obvious Ray Searage joke contained herein.

OK Smart Media Guy, what measures would you employ when tasked with airing Vincent Pastore's less-attractive sister, Bigger Pussy?

If this keeps up, Josh Smith is the runaway LVP (Least Valuable Player) for 2014-15...if not for all time.

This is the biggest thing Jerry Jones has rubbed in anyone's face.

We can extrapolate from TO's publicist that Larry Sanders has 11 million reasons - for each of the next 4 years - to commit his unfulfilled self to basketball. But, balance that against being in Milwaukee and it is a wash.

It's hilarious reading how the Lions' chances of winning dropped to 60% after Flag-gate.

Remember Joe Namath slurping up that reporter chick? Babe Ruth sure banged the wrong President's daughter that night! Whee doggies. No hash like rehash.

Dozing while ineptly speed-reading just led to momentarily believing Peyton Manning ate Jameis Winston's butthole.

This is the best flurry of San Diego Padres trades since former owner John Moores traded his wife for her gynecologist.

The Dbacks don't believe Miley has a high-enough celiac.