The unfortunate and devastating consequence of a reefer collar is lost access to all Federal Student Loan programs. Robert Mitchum, Gilligan and Snoop Bag were poor role model choices for this man's life trajectory. Forevermore a temp.

Stem cells, a minor league tuneup, and he is better than ever. You can put the platelets in your diddy bag.

This man, this family is unmined reality show gold. Sex, billions, and an octogenarian brat.

Here's wishing the camera caught a guy two knuckles deep instead of making like a bear shaking an evidently thick, freshly-caught salmon.

Del Pratt and Harry 'The Horse' Danning join Jim Bibby in ruing their too-early births.

While an impressively rapid imploder, here we have no Titus Young. Let us not kid ourselves.

More echo and a lot less cowbell.

Shawn Marion's jump shot laughs at Hunter Pence's swing.

He had the Piss Shivers. Mine are different.

Including the highly-reflective door, here is the recipe for the perfect Robin Thicke. The boy's hand is too high for Pop's eyes to truly pop. We wuz robbed.

They tell of a Kim Basinger deposition with this exact same testimony.

Ted Leitner is not a nice person. Whatever inflames him is just.

Mr. Warthen's subtlety was lost upon this author. His sage joke is premised upon the ancient and hilarious mirth-making genre known as 'irony'. In this instance, Mr. Warthen's comedic platform brilliantly interplays the opposite meanings of his statement with a distinct yet rare duality:

This is the Ryan brother who did not go into coaching football.

Russ Thomas can once again serve and chauffeur his old master, a task he dutifully performed while pinching the players and disregarding winning. Designated Russ has had a head start scouting the appropriate quaffing establishments down there deep in the bowels of...

Aaron Rodgers gives great Toe Cheese Head.

Fish or cut fingerbait.

Therapy dog. Gronk has issues to overcome.

Did Blackhawk enforcer Bollig just pee his name into the snow?

Be proud, Ron Zook. You sired an earner.