The marijuana in San Diego is historically potent. He should not have messed with it.

If I were to think about this story, it would make me want NFL safety William Gay to name a son "Openly".

Hey diddle diddle,
I punched her over spittle.

Right. Can't force them.

The Winter Games have long been about steamy sex, ever since the 1928 Winter Olympics were held in the town named for St. Moritz, the Patron Saint of Blue Balls.

Can I be there when Mr. Sam learns his son was drafted by the Detroit Lions?

It is unseemly piling-on to point out Rick Reilly's character flaws once you realize he looks like a condom pulled over a foot.

Kudos to Ted Williams for overcoming his obsessive avoidance of cold zones.

NBC edited out a worldwide call for tolerance.

"Raccoon" is a despicable, stereotypical euphemism. Many readers will not be fooled.

In the land of the pin dicks, the needle dick is king.

Perfect...the passed-by Lakers play a player presently into planking.

Jared Lorenzen reminds one of so many legendary QB's - Jim Evereat. Y.A. Skittles. Matt Mooreplease. Broadweigh Joe. Milt Plumsauce. Filled Simms. Terry Breadshow. Bread Carve. Ben Ruthlessonburgers. Twoton Manning. Tonny Romo, Ryan Tonhill and Tonny Jurgensen. Doug Foodie. Joe Slow Montanabolism. Boomer Eatsaton.…

If Joe D. had 1962 access to a Puerto Rican mortician, his storied roses may have been a big, fat diversionary tactic left at Marilyn's empty crypt.

Pre-op transplantation pic of this ball for the unfortunate man's head. It was a complete success.

Of course they would all do it again. It is not a job or career, it is an enviable identity. How many days go by where Al Woodall does not mention being an NFL quarterback?

I have vastly underrated how much I prefer amply-steroided footballers.

You invite peanut allergy kid, pet allergy boy, Asberger's kid, hyper kid, bad-smelly boy, pees-carpet kid, breaks 4 things kid, runny nose girl, spiller kids, non-vaccinated kids, and one MILF if you are fortunate. That MILF makes it all 100% worthwhile.

I once again do not respect Jay Glazer's choices.

"Clipper, Crooner Kayo Kotz Corridor As
Skank Actress Boffs Bongo Beater"