If it will keep me from having to listen to a screaming child for 4 hours, she can have the underseat space.

I don’t like kids; don’t have them, don’t want them. I understand the reasons behind why they do things that annoy the crap out of me and understand it isn’t the parent’s fault most of the time—but the fact that I’d rather be anywhere they aren’t remains. And your solution seems win-win-win. She’s happy and quiet, you…

Wait, so Doe Deere, a woman who has threatened to sue people for negative or even mildly neutral reviews of her make-up, is not attempting to put this man’s head on a spike? Is she in anger management or something?

Because no one could ever look like someone else, that’s just unheard of. By this magazine’s logic, I’m secretly a pin-up model. See this dude at work has been looking at me strangely for a while. It turns out he saw a pin-up model who looks identical to me, so much so he was sure it was me. Aside from the fact that I…

This is noble in theory, but you know what? I wish they’d stop trying to be subtle and just outright list all the red flags in big bold letters that women should watch out for. Trying to make it light-hearted and fun rubs me the wrong way.

Yes....if we never teach the kids about The Sex, they’ll just never do it! That worked out super well. Now they have sex, but know nothing about the realities of it or how to practice safe sex, so they’ve unleashed a plague of STDs. Thank you Texas for reminding me why I fought tooth and nail to get away from you and…

I adore them. Their style is right in line with mine...But I also realize that they are, therefore, not for everyone. I just wish people could say that instead of being needlessly rude and insulting. It’s strange how for the last couple of years fashion keeps wanting to dip into the goth end of the pool, but when a…

So no one outside of Rihanna could figure out how to stick to the theme without being gross and appropriative? Hmm...

I’m in the “it’s definitely racist” camp. She is the one that made the jump from braids to black culture to racist stereotypes (ie. looking like she’s going to jail). Also, the people trying to stand up for her, OMFG: something does not automatically become not racist because it’s referring to a white person, to think…

I was venting to a friend about my former-friend turned psycho stalker and I ended up opening up about my abusive ex-husband (which I only brought up because the former friend became a former friend when he started acting over-the-line possessive, along with other creepy and unsettlingly abuser-like behavior), and she…

That’s the nice thing about something you wear everyday, you forget it’s there. Which of course enables us to see what these guys are really about when it slips their minds.

So the body bag woman and her religious issues. First, what did she want the body held in while it waited in line to be processed? They can’t just move it from the morgue to the funeral home for disposition in nothing. And second, how entitled do you have to be to be pissed that your mother’s body is waiting to be…

I tend to assume either the spouse is also a shitty human and agrees with their actions or this person treats their spouse the same as the waitstaff and is afraid to speak up to someone who is probably an abusive asshat.

Ah, priviledged nitwits. I once worked with a girl (who clearly was only working because Daddy insisted she “do something”) who had no idea what “Don’t be that guy” meant. Some of her clique had gone to get food and brought her back a burger and small fries, for free, just cuz and she bitched about the size of the…

I don’t like grilled cheese. I am the .000000000001%. Or an alien.

I don’t like grilled cheese and I know this is a thing.

I think they’re nasty. To the extent that cooking one in the same house as me (and so filling the house with that grilled cheese smell) will turn my stomach so intensely I have to go outside or risk vomiting. I’ve been informed many times that this means I’m broken, but being doomed to a life of unhappiness is new.

Wait for it.

Can’t have the masses gettin’ all book smart and rejecting their nonsense.

So Christians are really, really convinced they’re being oppressed and infringed upon. And it just doesn’t stop boggling my mind. Where is that pie chart? Can we print millions of them and tack them to every other lightpole across the county until they get that they’re not? I’m going to go tear my hair out now...