I think you're looking for the gawker article: [gawker.com]

I have an apple pie. Do you want an apple pie? For some reason it is red white and blue, but I understand everything good is red white and blue.

I'm guessing you don't watch Raising Hope?

I'm still not American, you get that, right?

Seriously. I am in so much denial that I knew a) it was his story and b) he was in it, that it wasn't until the trailer that I realised he was, like, the lead.

Oh, okay. That makes more sense.

If you didn't mean to ask a question, it might be better if you leave out the question marks.

I don't know what that means...

Like I said—I know it's "his" story. Not everyone appears in their biographies, though.

It's pretty much people who aren't you making a movie for more people who aren't you. You did notice that a *lot* of people (who, again, aren't you) liked the book?

It's like they got a whole EXTRA biggest wall in the world. I mean, that's not even fair. My country doesn't have anything that cool...

It's the people who put him in the "Whuhuh?" column that are the problem. Casting directors can get away with plausible deniability on that one.

This is because I talked trash about Sam Worthington, isn't it?

I prefer "mud monkeys in SPAAAAACE".

Good god, does Hollywood have to get Channing Tatum all over everything?

They've hooked me up to a million IVs, but nothing is guaranteed to work, including a shitload of narcotics. In fact, I have a portacath inserted so there's as little as possible between me and whatever's in the syringe.

I don't know if in the history of all things ever, *two* people have said "I have made my life *too* easy. Must end it all..."

I know you don't respect the guy's work, but seriously? You can't be arsed to get *either* of his names right?

Is it out of beta yet?

I don't get why talking to your phone is weird. It's not like they put the mic in for Siri...it's always been there.