GAH!

WHEN IS THE NEXT SEASON COMING TO NETFLIX? Please god, let it be soon.

+1M for proper use of ‘you’re’. (Willfully ignoring use of ‘ur’ later in the note. Sue me.)

Are you related to Mennonites? Because this is such a Mennonite thing. They also make it with plums.

*If the child is white.

I am nearly done with one year of not reading straight, white, cis-gendered men (SWCGM), and you know what? IT’S BEEN AWESOME. I am exposed to so much more than I expected. I’ve decided that from now on, only every other book may be SWCGM-authored. I’m digging in.

I would so wear this. I’m getting weirder every day, and a universe print costume fits perfectly.

My daughter just said: Mom, this is your future.

I can’t help but think that if I had some toothpaste or Taco Bell taco sauce and a little free time, these would be shiny and new!

Gahhhhhhhhhhhh...

I regularly curse: may your eyebrow hair fall out. I also reverse curse (reserved for folks who stop for me in crosswalks, etc.): May you have great sex tonight! I feel that these are reasonable in this unreasonable world.

I feel confident that I’m raising a daughter who will give a big middle finger, if that, to this kind of behavior when she gets to college; therefore, this kind of thing will only rile her dad.