As a white woman, I wish we had a better strategy for changing this than crossing our fingers and wishing it would stop being true. I try to talk to white Republican women when I get the chance (which, to be honest, isn’t that much in my daily life — most of the people I know are either liberal or don’t talk about it…

They are AMAZING. With us we only know my son is literate because sometimes he reads out TV captions. For his teacher he’ll write complete sentences. It’s a very special skill set and I’m always in awe.

Oh, fuck off. I’m tired of people who are well enough to lecture others on the internet telling the families of those who will never be able to do the same how to talk about our loved ones. If you want to go into details about your autism be my guest, but it’s not a preference you get to set as policy for other…

Exactly. There’s almost a disability porn quality to listing out all of someone’s specific issues instead of stating a rough age level as an approximation. It takes the focus from “this is a person with a medical condition” to “look at all the weird/gross things about this person due to their medical condition.”

I miss ploughman’s lunches. I did study abroad in England in college and got them every chance I get. Yes you can buy the components in America, but it’s not quite the same!

Also ... gee, why would spending hours every day in an enriched social environment with trained caregivers and a group of peers spur someone to communicate? It’s a mystery!

I’m sorry, but as the mom of a special needs kid, that seems way more condescending than “he functions at the level of an elementary school child.” Giving a rough age-level equivalent gives the lay reader a concept of the kinds of limitations being discussed without dwelling on the things an individual can’t do or…

I can see why he wanted to establish that the abuse went both ways, since there were people boycotting his movies based on the perception he was the abuser and Amber was innocent. But why he felt like he had to turn it into a huge court battle instead of just telling his side of the story and letting people believe it…

It sounds like this was an incredibly toxic relationship involving two incredibly toxic people. I don’t think either one of them is 100% telling the truth.

Okay, but what about performers like Ezra Miller or Nico Tortorella? They identify as nonbinary, but still largely benefit from male privilege due to socialization, physical appearance, etc. I don’t see how giving them what was formerly the women’s award does anything to help representation unless we define…

You’re right, I made that more confusing than it needed to be by bringing gender into it. (And I was wrong about the farm thing with Reade anyhow.) It still seems to me that outside very rural areas, horses are a rich person thing, but of course there are exceptions.

They’ve been suggesting this for a few years — I just got a notification of a like on a post I made last time this came up. So I’m just going to paste what I said then, since my opinion isn’t going to change until we get that magic gender equity wand that gives women half of all awards:

I’m convinced that the media machine is addicted to Trump rage clicks. If Biden replaces him and is the boring moderate president we all suspect he would be, all that goes away. 

To me, horses are the big tell. There are two types of people who end up being really into horses: People who grew up on farms, which Reade didn’t, and upper-middle-class suburban girls whose families could afford riding lessons. I’m assuming she’s in group B. 

Wearing capes and dressing like a “hippy” isn’t a classed thing, really. It’s marking oneself as bohemian and ~outside the class structure.~ Which is completely valid as a life choice but maybe not the one to make if you’re trying to fit in in a very conservative environment. Reade was also living in a very expensive…

That’s fair, and it is a tricky line to walk. I think the right thing for white people to do depends on the forum. Like, if you’re talking to your mom and she says something about “those thugs in Minneapolis,” of course you should talk to her about the problems with that. (Depending on your relationship and the…

Exactly. I get why people are embarrassed, but saying it does nothing but make the speaker feel good. 

Excellent essay.

I just did some light social media stalking and it looks like he has two adult kids based in New York and one in San Francisco. His first wife was also American.

Right? All I can think of is maybe his lawyers told him the divorce/custody stuff will go better for him in the UK than the US, but even with that you would think he would be able to wait a couple months to make the move. If it’s a family emergency bringing him back, they’re both being really quiet about it.