Unfortunately, it ain’t just white people anymore. I’m Hispanic in the southwest, and you should see the hawt taeks coming from my community.

I really hate myself for playing this card, but this is something the White, middle-class Clinton apologists don’t understand. Neither she nor her husband has been particularly helpful for colored people or poor people. Are they as blatantly and grotesquely awful as Trump? Of course not. But they’re certainly products…

Say goodnight?

Eh. It was tough. And I really don’t give a shit about rugby, and hipster rugby fans are about half-a-step from the Lacrosse douchenuggets, but.... I’m going to star this one. Fuck football. And, yes, fuck it’s 5 minutes of headshots looking a perturbed coach with headphones on, just so I can watch five seconds of a…

I grew up poor. So watching a football game in person was always something out of my reach. My parents never had the money to buy me a ticket. I always had other needs to take care of when I finally old enough to work. And I live in Colorado where Bronco tickets are treated like the recovered remnants of some ancient,…

I mean, it’s the “right call” but it isn’t the right call. Know what I mean?

Well, yeah. Exactly. If you’re eating five or six tacos, it’s going to take a long-ass run to burn those off.

Well, I was talking simply about losing weight. Strength training is important for building muscle, which has an impact on body composition, but I don’t think, for the vast majority of people, strength training provides enough of an impetus for meaningful weight loss.

The fact that he turned into a “panic wrestler” after talking shit about panic wrestlers says everything about McG’s true mindstate. He’s a frontrunner. He has no heart. He can still be a great fighter, but an athlete like Diaz is always going to be his kryptonite. Somebody you can land bomb after bomb on and he’s…

The hard truth is that looking fit is basically 90-percent diet. The only people I know whose exercise routines significantly impact their weight are long-distance runners I know, who run at least 2 hours every day. Most people are a little more sane, so they have neither the will or desire to carve out two hours…

Oh please. The sport is so stuffed with PED-using meatheads that if you smack a random MMA gym with a broom stick, the shits will explode like a pinata, drenching the vicinity with Anavar and Human Growth Hormone for miles around. And they want to get rid of Nick Diaz because of marijuana. I don’t smoke marijuana, but…

It would only be effective if you faked unconsciousness from an illegal move. You can’t just pretend to be unconscious because the guy put in a half-nelson. They’d just call you pinned.

They’re all on PEDs.

Kettlebellers—Because ancient Russian secrets and KGB something something or another.

You can be great at being all right. You can be the best at being mediocre. You can be super at being fine. It’s been my life goal for some time now.

Same here. You’ll have some of my money.

Nobody gives a shit about your bunk-ass oatmeal mush and your faux-foodspin writing voice. If you want savory oatmeal, learn how to cook risotto like a “grown-ass person.”

Did you ever do “Russian Soccer,” which was just a game of handball played on the wrestling mats with everyone on their knees?

He punked Jeb. But, yeah. It was basically picking a fight with the small, cognitively disabled kid in class.

Libertarians are just as bad. But, you know, they’ll let you smoke weed, I guess, so that you’re not so bummed as the entire country morphs into whatever it is that Kansas and Louisiana and Oklahoma are these days....