... where was this in my early 20s? I missed out on my entire promiscuity phase due to STD fears.

How long until we get somebody condemning this woman as a witch profiting off the mutilation and torture of innocent boy children? Who's up for a little over-under?

Ugh that Pink stuff is just horrid.

Here's hoping that the "text across the ass" trend in general dies the same death as Juicy Couture.

Straight Women who buy and eat these cookies will turn into lesbians.

Featuring some of your favorite flavors, including:

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn [of cookies]"

And here I've been saying I don't go to church! Apparently, I've been going several times a week, praying at least 3 times per night.

HAIL SATAN AND HIS BOUNTY OF LESBIAN COOKIES.

If Thin Mints are the first part of the Communion of Satan, what's the wine part?

Yeah Chris Rock once said something like its easy for black people to be good and be respected, you have to respect Colin Powell or Johny Cochran but the real sign of progress will be when a black people can be mediocre or below average and still advance like Dan Quayle. So yeah I hear you.

I think when women are called ugly, they are not actually ugly — they are simply noncompliant.
BINGO.

$5 says Kanye will insist on designing Kim's wedding dress.

Best response to the actual AMA:

She donated her heart to Dick Cheney

At this point I'm convinced that Ann Coulter is a left-wing plant designed to make the right look more crazy. She's doing a fine job for us. A fine, fine job.

Why won't this woman go back to the crypt?!! Does anybody have a stake to put through her heart....oops, I forgot, she doesn't have one.

My first introduction to Celia Cruz and a song that still sing often at age 29.

Oh man... I have written a lot of responses to this and deleted each of them in turn. I have felt offended by a lot of the comments on here, and then realised that I have no defence of us as a country.