Boom. Ordered on Amazon.

Wow. I barely recognize her! I hate how extensive the airbrushing is on most covers- Half the time I don't know who it is until I look at the name.

Aspirational?

Can I join if I promise to bring an inordinate fondness of the Oxford comma and solemnly swear to not use ellipses excessively?

I think there are parts of the diet I could actually really get behind.

There is hope for the future yet!

Bitches, please.

Did you say checkbones?

Might I suggest a different Scotsman?

I thought most big races don't allow personal music players? Ever since I got bulldozed by some idiot in headphones at the Portland Marathon a few years ago, I've had an near-irrational hatred of seeing people wear them at races.
Not to mention the friends that want to go for a run together then as soon as you hit the…

Mole rat skin?

I'm torn. On one hand, it's sort of badass. On the other, I remember trying to read Atlas Shrugged, and deciding it would just be easier to burn it. Preferable in full view of the friend that recommended it to me and always corrected my pronunciation of 'Ayn Rand.'

I almost feel like I deserve a treat for reading the whole message without destroying something...

The was exactly the phrase I used to describe reading about this guy. As someone that dabbles in fictional writing, I had a hard time convincing myself that someone like this actually exist. He was too ridiculous for my poor bleeding-heart West coast liberal brain to really comprehend.

This one also seems very applicable.

Who needs a thigh gap when you could crush a man's head with your adductor longus?

Seems a little redundant to post this again about Bachmann, but it also seems overwhelming appropriate.

Oh, FFS. I have a small gap and it has everything to do with my genetics/anatomy and very very little to do with anything else.