I worked on an automated twitter promotion once for a large skin care brand. We had a 90 minute meeting once called “how will people try to screw with us.”

I love when brands expect us to cooperate as if we won’t immediately ruin their campaign. It’s like handing a 12 year old a can of spray paint and acting surprised when their wall is covered in dicks.

isn’t this really more of a kind of lettuce pesto, not a jam?

Why anyone would want to work for a man who will clearly throw you under the bus for even the slightest personal benefit is beyond me. This isn’t even a “I find this administration and their ‘beliefs’ reprehensible”, though I do, I just don’t see how associating yourself with this asshole works out for you in the…

I’m more upset about the idea of no more Melissa McCarthy skits.

So...he has risen?

I would absolutely watch a Wanda Sykes-hosted CSPAN digest weekly show.

Don’t bother with fast forwarding, the more Wanda in your life the better.

I love Wanda so much.

That price point makes it impossible for me to even see the shoes. It’s like they’re sitting behind a giant price tag. I’m looking at them, but all I’m thinking is “that better be 24K gold on those shoes.”

Question I hadn’t really considered: are the position numbers for the players fixed no matter where they actually stand on the field? I guess so, but it seems weird that number designations based on position don’t change as positions on the field change.

“Fielded by the shortstop. Flips it to the right fielder. Nice. On to first, double play!”

If only David Beckham had married some sort of... spice-having woman.

Eh, it could just be a really good egg. Yolk color reflects the diet of the hen that laid it. Pale yellow yolks typically come from hens that eat nothing but corn; orange yolks come from hens whose diets include more variety, including stuff with carotenoids in it.

And here I thought that Coachella was for rich people.

“I really don’t think this was a millennial problem though. This is a rich entitled kid problem, which last time I checked has been around since the dawn of man.”

I’m poor, old, not into music festivals and probably wouldn’t know an influencer if I fell over one; yet, I cannot get enough of this story! I hope the Bahamian government weighs in again!

I could seriously read a story a day about this. Just beam them straight into my eyeballs.

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

This never gets old.