You should try to make this point again when you aren’t so drunk.

Giri Nathan took this GIF into the spank-tank at his local women’s fertility clinic and, seven donations later, has yet to emerge...

Northwestern will turn this kid into such an asshole

They should abolish force outs. All base runners should be tagged out. And there needs to be a large circle around each base that each runner is allowed to use to try to get to the base, like some reverse sumo wrestling pit.

That was literally one of the best sports questions I have heard.

Listen, I like your username, so I won’t go hard on you for this. Point taken I guess? Also, I’m sorry about your food life.

Yeah, the bread knife ranking... Every week I read this mailbag, and no matter how self-deprecating Drew is he always asserts something with such confidence yet makes me think, “Is this guy mentally or physically challenged?”

lol they asked for credentials the day after the appearance. If that ain’t a sign of the times.

Never before has the bald eagle represented the American public as accurately as it does now.

Freedom bird knows what’s up. Fuck this guy. Peck out his beady fucking eyeballs and claw off his smug fucking lips. Freedom bird don’t take no shit, and don’t put up with anyone screwing with cousin Big Bird.

#NotAllPhotoOps

Chop and Steele eventually appeared on three shows, in Eau Claire, Wisc., Bismarck, N.D., and Allentown, Penn., before canceling their other appearances due to being “stressed out.”

So if I think you look like an asshole, I can just punch you in the face, right?

“ and said the comment about the female student was “not meant to be inappropriate.”

I spent more time than I should’ve looking for this

“How many students said I exposed myself?” said Sharkey.

But was it a sandwich?

“DO.....YOU.....SPEAK....ENGLISH?!”

I need jersey to go on shelf next to ring. You. Journalist. Go get me jersey.