15. Don't do other people's work for them

His bit on the lottery in "The Skeptic's Corner" still sits at the top of my "best of" bits.

Feed me AIR, Seymour!

Dakota Valley HS is in South Dakota.

Geography, lads. Nebraska nor South Dakota are "Upper Midwest".

I live in Duckworth's district. If she wins, we're gonna get another batshit-crazy asswipe like Joe Walsh again.

Yeah, that'd be class act Joe Walsh.

Cos they wear Toughskins (TM)

I have an allergy to silicon tipped earbuds. Are there any earbuds like Apple's (no silicon), but sound decent?

I like to use the cartoon "Jabby McNeedles".

Mrs. Cuckoo and I bought memberships to the Chicago institutions we love (Art Institute, MCA, Field, Shedd). There are "members only" times (usually weekend mornings) and previews. It seems a little snobby, but it's made the entire experience a lot more pleasurable.

The environment also makes a big difference. If an exhibition is overcrowded, loaded with screaming kids, bad lighting, crooked paintings, poor access, rude people, zombies with their headsets, it puts me right off. It's possible to have a major exhibition that heads off these problems— the David Bowie Is... exhibit…

My wife and I play a game when we watch Independence Day— it's a variation on the old "Hi Bob" parties of years gone by. Whenever Jeff Goldblum stammers, you have to do a shot. (We like cherry vodka.)

No. It's Kate Walsh.

Walking across a wood floor in sock feet, going too fast for conditions, I pivoted and suddenly I was airborne. I mean, full-0n Charlie Brown AAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH THUD! airborne. Somehow in the middle of my contortion, I managed to twist my right knee in a way that I still can't fathom because I heard a very…

It's growing on me. It's hard not to have respect for a place that horrible that still manages to function.

Union Station is the absolute fucking worst place. Almost nothing works there, and what does work there is like being in the 1950's. Synchronized clocks tell different times, the train platforms (which run right next to the river) freeze hard in the winter and stink to high heaven in the summer. Above the platforms…

Nope, his real name. And he looks like Herman Munster.

No, because Terry-Thomas is not sexy:

Sarcasm Font is my favorite Who B-side.