For real! I just told my boyfriend the same thing. I’m not saying that there is an amount of money that would make me sleep with Trump (there is. It’s roughly around the amount I need to pay off my student loans). We all know he can do better than 10,000 dollars and I would have laughed in his face over that amount.

If getting dumped wasn’t bad enough, the emails back and forth about what went wrong were brutal, and only started because he wanted to stay friends but was all...boyfriendy about it.

Thank you, but I’d prefer to adhere to the ancient eastern transcendantalist example of the sage Buckaroo Banzai.

Back when I worked for my state government, there was a poster in the mail room about what to do if you found any suspicious powder in the mail. The first thing was don’t panic, and then don’t smell or taste the powder. What kind of idiot sees a white powder in an envelope sent to the state tax department and says to…

I am glad that it was nothing harmful.

I teach my students what happened to Emmett Till, and every single year they ask me how this was possible.

One very important note about Emmett’s funeral. Emmett’s mother wanted everyone to see what the murderers did* to her son so she had an open casket funeral. She was quoted as saying:

I had a paper route when I was a kid. There was one wealthy family on the route, one really poor guy (who literally lived in a tar paper shack), and the rest were regular working class/lower middle class people. Tar paper shack guy only got the paper once a week for the TV listings, and was my best tipper. The rich…

Having spent almost a decade and a half in the construction industry, i can tell you no one works harder to get out of paying what they owe than the rich. I’m convinced many of them work harder at that than what they did to get rich in the first place. People in the middle class? Almost never a problem collecting a…

Decades ago, I delivered food for a diner on 57th Street in midtown Manhattan. Most of my salary was tips. The best tippers were the hair stylists in the upscale salons, who also made most of their money on tips, and the secretaries/admins, who knew what it was like to work hard for an indecent wage. The worst tippers…

I’d be shocked if he actually sued — he’d have to talk about his behavior under oath, and he’d open himself up to a lot more accusations. He’s just performing for his base and trying to intimidate his other victims so they’ll be too scared to come forward.

Heh.... I tried out for discus. Once. After which it was decided that it was in everyone’s best interest for me to stay far, far away from discuses. “Stick to thumb wrestling,” they said. “For the love of God and property damage and liability insurance, PLEASE stick to thumb wrestling.”

A friend of mine was nanny to the children of someone reasonably close to her (close enough that she would visit). I don’t know actual words, but my friend told me, god, must be 20 years ago, that the very thought of Trump made Diana laugh and roll her eyes.

To be fair, I’m sure plenty of men looked at this and thought, “Nah, she’s too short for me.”

I cannot believe he thought he could get with the flawlessness that was Diana. He isn’t worthy of scooping shit for her pets, let alone touching her.

“Later, he called and left me a message. ‘Can you believe this? Who would say this? I don’t want people to think this about you,’” she said. “He thought that I would try to go out with him...”

The title of this article is a bit misleading. When a film is shown abroad, in a different language, the original title is often jettisoned, instead of being translayed, in favor of a new title that makes more sense or is “catchier” in the new tongue, but still conveys the essence of the film. That’s not really the…

Coconuts in the Snow is fucking delightful. It’s honestly a way more descriptive title than Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings means nothing in and of itself, but at least Coconuts in the Snow kind of lets you in on the movie’s premise of things being somewhere where you wouldn’t expect to see them. Specifically…

“Pack Up The Loot And Scram”