Oh yes. Real empathy on his face. Thought we were looking at resurrected Mother Theresa.

I feel comforted just looking at that warm and fuzzy tableau.

“Please keep your poor over there, thank you.”

The is perfect. Now show us the picture of when he wiped his hands on his pants and purelled them after he touched a black person.

“Shit, there go my dildos”

I like Katy Perry, she seems like she’s having fun in life. So many adults are so joyless. They watch Big Bang Theory when they want to laugh, but they don’t have pure, unadulterated, silly fun, they’re too busy looking for decorating ideas on Pintrest and discussing their children's sleep habits. Or maybe it’s just…

Dear Santa Clara cops,

When my son was in the NICU, I’d sing the alphabet in my head, but end with, “Now I’ve sung my ABCs, and it’s time to see baby.”

Had this conversation with someone on the lifehacker version of this article: you don't need anti-bacterial soap for tattoos, just unscented. I've been using dove for sensitive skin for years without a single incident.

You actually don't need anti-bacterial soap for healing tattoos. For all of mine, the tattoo artists just recommended fragrance free soap. Pretty sure I used a fragrance free Dove bar.

Stockton is where I first saw a hooker that was most likely younger than me, and I was still in high school.

Never go through Stockton, are you crazy!

Yea, that’s saying something! Went to grad school in NC and attended one party up in the mountains...flags were burned, punches were thrown, children toddled by as if this was something they saw a lot of...

Victorville? STORY CHECKS OUT.

And so ends the Great Antibacterial Soap War in the Footsteps household, with me victorious. Also, with hands smelling lightly of lavender, because I really like that smell.

Professional infection preventionist here: unless you’re doing a surgical scrub, regular soap works fine. The point of soap is WASHING OFF stuff, not killing it. That’s what sanitizer is for (save C. diff or norovirus; see: washing off stuff).

bring back that powdery pink stuff that is prolly worst but who cares, it was POWDER!

As a microbiologist I’ve been trying to get people to stop using that shit for years, but I think I finally gave up a little while back. Yay, FDA!

This divine smelling, silky smooth, lathery beaut.

I was the only woman working in this restaurant and part of my job was inventory, I was always so confused and aggravated that I’d find like five open cornstarch boxes, and I’d keep using them up for sauce or whatever. One time I mentioned it to my boss like WHY JUST USE ONE AND THEN OPEN A NEW ONE YOU ARE SCREWING UP…