I’M SORRY JOE

In the Biblical book of Genesis, there’s the story of Lot who was saved from the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As Lot and his family escape, his wife turns to look at the destruction and is turned into a pillar of salt. 

Sileo later clarified, “I don’t think you understand. When I called those players ‘monkeys,’ it was because they were black, soooo...*shrug*”

Nuclear has a foible or two but it’s the best base load power generation source this side of hydro. Wind and Solar do not compare in this metric. If you’re basing safety on the only 3 events in the entire history of nuclear power, then it actually is safe. There is no getting off fossil fuels without nuclear at least…

It’s like my Gramps used to say, “Darned if you do, Darnold if you don’t...”

The thing is though, not seeing it is kind of the point. One of the reasons that low-budget movies (action and otherwise) look “low-budget” is because they don’t have the money to go into such obsessive detail. You see the shots and think, “Oh that looks so fake,” but that’s because they didn’t have three set…

Kid: mom, I want to vape

“Jesus Christ, no kids think vaping is safe.”

it's like Sputnik!!

It’s times like this I dearly miss Jon Bois’ Breaking Madden column.

Formaldehyde just tastes like ghost blood, dude. Man, act like you’ve been somewhere before.

*takes a massive hit of this joint I got from that weird guy on the street*

It’s a virtual planetoid, that thing! It’s got its own weather system!

First I go home and make love to YOUR wife 

Bruce, you’re out of here!

The Patriots won’t need to trade for Melvin Gordon, the Chargers will fumble him away, when everything hangs in the balance.

Funny, he’s also known as the only guy who can prevent another Giants Super Bowl victory.

I can’t believe a sports league exists where there are basically 20+ incompetently-run franchises and 1 that feasts on them all.

I look forward to President Snoop. Hopefully he’ll leave a solid legacy for President Dwayne Johnson to build upon and fix the damage left by President Roseanne Barr.

People are waaay overthinking this. The point of a shower beer is that you have done work or exercise and need a shower, and a beer. The best beer for this is the beer you have. After hard work, cold beer is the best beer. It really doesn’t matter what kind, as long as it’s cold. (been doing shower beers for about 7…