I’m so upset that ‘Ping’ has seeped into my everyday vernacular patois jargon colloquialism vocabumilary

Now I want a mini-spin off series on how the Scranton Strangler himself managed to become one of the core reasons why the DNC lost Pennsylvania.

For a while, my Tinder bio read:

I heartily disagree:

Taco’s El Gordo

I’m sorry, but ‘it’? C’mon man, they’re a person, use ‘them’. I see you used it later in the sentence, so maybe it was just a brain fart.

Sophomore year, JV football.

Bunting for a single is a thing, right? Wouldn’t that improve our chances?

The evidence also showed, according to the DOJ, that Scott convinced the Houston drug dealer and another drug dealer to falsely testify at a federal trial about an alleged cocaine and heroin dealer. The person was then found guilty. The court dismissed the case after learning about Scott’s intervention.

I expect a Ray Ratto and Drew Magary commercial a year from now.

Bubba Ventrone’s neck-girth is impressive, but I think Takeo still has him beat:

The NFL’s very own Kanye West

Go home capeo, last call was at 12:30

The NYU cafeteria must serve a mean Lutefisk

Guys! It will be fine! They’ll just have Spider-Man get killed off screen during the next MCU film and recast Holland as The Night Monkey! Does Sony own that? If so, just call him some other name and tweak his powers juuuuust enough to not infringe on copyright. It’ll make for a great Deadpool joke too!

Wealth tax, I love it!

I’m currently on disability for Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorder, and am enrolled in an outpatient program for treatment. While the impetus for this development was initially due to personal events, my therapist and I have also determined that a large factor contributing to my condition is that I hate my job. The…

Did you hear that giant sucking sound?

Looks like a thumbnail for a Jon Bois video.

Great list 10/10