I’ll admit, every time I watch the Tour de France, I wonder about the mysterious “nature breaks” the cyclists take. I mean, it’s 6 hours on a bike each day; they’re constantly hydrating; they eat lunch on the bike. But somehow a massive group of 200 cyclists all manage to hide the nature breaks. They are forbidden to…

Yeah, that was my thought....they went in the dome the day before the inauguration. I wanted to crawl under a rock at that point too.

“The answer to the question What Happened asks is quite simple. What happened? The rest of us wised up.”

It’s hard to understand how these idiots can back a bill that screws over 50% of the population, with particular regard to the way that 100% of the population are brought kicking and screaming into this world. I mean, do Bill Cassidy and Lindsey Graham assume that they sprang forth fully formed from their fathers’…

We may have more stringent building codes, but PR and other caribbean islands are used to tropical storms being part of living in the tropics. A lot of their buildings are made of concrete instead of wood and drywall. Hopefully that will help save a lot of people.

(Hands over feminist card)

“the sound of a Slavic accent introducing the President”

Sounds like Family Guy’s preview of “Passion of the Christ II.” Jesus busts through a door holding a machine gun.

Don’t bring The Boss into this mess.

“It’s my hot body, I DO WHAT I WANT!!!”

This is a South Park episode come to life. The one where Cartman goes on the talk show circuit as a “troubled teen”.

“You can’t do you when you got no you to do.”

To be fair....sometimes you need the industrial strength toilet. I’m not passing bricks, but my toilet at home is wimpy and will clog if you look at it wrong. The toilets at work were built to handle anything.

I know, right? My mandatory “volunteering” for US Goverment class involved directing people to open booths at a polling station during an election. Hers involved rigging an election. That’s worth super duper extra credit.

she sought “somehow to influence the US presidential election, in addition to securing personal profit.”

Entitled selfish a-hole married an entitled selfish b*tch.

“I’m guessing self-applied or a gay who wasn’t having it.”

“Scott Pruitt can’t die in a fire fast enough.”

Seriously, those pilots need to take these flightradar images of the trip to and from PR and have them enlarged, framed, and mount them on their living room walls. That’s what I’d do.

I dunno. That’s not necessarily “island time”. It could be “bad airport layout”. Like Charlotte. Last time I flew out of there, I swear we were rolling around for at least 20 minutes before we finally got to the runway.