Are you a first responder/emergency response person? Because those are the only people who have any business flying INTO Puerto Rico at this particular point in time.

I’m keeping an eye on the predicted path. I’m in the big bend. Sorry to get a bit “do it to Julia!!!” but....if it looks like it’s going to sweep up the east coast of FL (sorry, Miami), I’ll stay put. If it shifts west and starts taking a bead on the gulf shore and panhandle, I will strongly consider getting the f*ck…

China’s actions depend on who strikes first. They’re on record as saying, “if NK is attacked, we will defend them. If NK launches first, we’ll stay neutral.”

It looks like Mother Nature might have something to say about Trump directing stupid amounts of money at a wall and deporting hundreds of thousands of people. Consider the FEMA pricetag for the combined might of Harvey and Irma (which many models have making a direct hit on Miami and then mowing its way up the FL…

Nah, the male descendants will have HER father’s hairline. Papa Middleton still has a full head of hair.

Yeah.....she gets to punch any flat-earther right in the face without penalty. (Once she gets her strength back. After that long in space, gravity is a major bitch to get used to.)

I’m assuming he wanted the blood draw immediately so any possible drugs wouldn’t have time to clear his system. But....the person he wanted the blood drawn from was clearly the VICTIM. So....it doesn’t make sense.

Hey, the Texas secretary of state apparently believes that “thoughts and prayers” are more useful to hurricane-displaced houstonians than, say, electricians, blankets, and sanitary supplies. So, yeah, “wishes and dreams” will help your kid build strong bones.

Something about the lighting of that first gif....I legit started humming Ginuwine’s “Pony”. It....kind of works.

That was my initial response, too, but....it might be a financial issue. She may not be able to afford daycare/baby-sitters, so that’s why he gets to stay.

“....architecting.”

“So, a person who wears a dumb “geisha girl” costume is not the same fucking thing as Lafcadio Hearn (Koizumi Yakumo) who assimilated and chose to live and breathe the culture.”

His face is definitely way up there on the Shkreli scale of backpfeiffengesicht levels. Not as punchable as Shkreli or Cruz, but higher than the Mooch.

The good news is, when she arrived in Corpus Christi, she accessorized with a baseball cap reading “FLOTUS”. This is not a joke.

“Y’all” or “all y’all”.....technically also gender neutral.

So....truncated/feminized versions of Roman names? Zuck wanted a couple of sons named Augustus and Maximus?

Hey, Donald.....look what you made me do.

So is Mariah suddenly becoming a big fan of Taylor Swift, hoping she knocks this song out of the #1 spot?

Thanks, John Cornyn, for putting Mya’s earworm back in my brain.

“I lived in that area for a brief time.”