a fetus is not a child, you moron.

I mean, clearly I didn't read that part any of it.

i had that post-partum-blood-clot-in-the-shower-plop!! it was so vile.

not even close. not even a nice try.

I'll start with I was in labor for three days. THREE DAYS. I distinctly remember I went into labor around 6pm-ish on a Thursday. No big deal except for the remainder of the evening, the contractions stayed around 5-10 minutes apart. I tried to sleep. Every time I had a contraction I woke up. Around 5:30 or…

"families fight"?

then you should also understand that people can send messages to others who haven't swiped them in either direction.

i would stab their feet with the nearest pointy implement repeatedly until they learned their lesson. i have no tolerance for anyone's feet. god, i want to die just thinking about being in that seat.

yeah, i'm currently a moderator on okc. i don't look at it very often, but i've had to flag a number of profiles. it's kind of gross what people think is appropriate for what is ostensibly an online dating profile.

where did you even get that?

i had a teacher in high school who also was there and told us about how terrifying it was. i can't even imagine. i think UO is a piece of shit anyway, but they just keep 'em coming.

if you did have the accent of your people, i have a friend from new jersey who would TOTALLY throw her panties at you. she loves massholes.

good on you! i'm sure she had a good laugh at that one :)

YES. there's a guy i had a surprise makeout session with once, though nothing ever came of it, and i've seen him dressed up with a button down shirt, vest (omg, hello) and his shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms. and he has a neatly maintained beard. i had such a hard time not throwing my legs around him.

yeah, i love the rolled up sleeves like that. woof.

"risingson" by massive attack. i know, it's so specific, but something about this song...if a guy played it for me, i think my panties would fly off of their own accord.

yeah, it was never actually funny.

#notallmen amirite?

it's not just how he looks, because i do realize he's rather ordinary looking. however, he's so goddamn funny and unintentionally charming that it makes him sexy as hell. plus, the dimples.

as soon as i buy one this season, i'm gonna take a picture of it. #noshame