I somehow never noticed before that Playmobil people don’t have noses. Now that you’ve pointed it out, I can’t pay attention to anything else. Help.

Um, how about the obvious?

My first thought as well. This is the obvious solution.

Aaaaand it’s hideous. Big surprise. Why does the auto industry have this obsession with making full-size pickups look like they were designed by angry 13-year-old boys?

Friendly reminder that Simone Giertz, queen of YouTube maker channels and (later) builder of a one-off Tesla Model 3 ute, owns one of these. Its name is Cheese Louise.

This is a nitpick, but 57 is not a boomer. That’s Gen X.

I was kinda secretly hoping they were saving Lightning for an electric sports car, but I can’t say I’m surprised they’re using it on a truck again. Wish it were a smaller truck, but at least it’s electric this time.

NOOOOOO NOT MICKEY I LIKED MICKEY

U.S.S. Ever Given NCC-1701-D

I tend to roll my eyes at six-figure cars, but hot damn. This thing is fucking gorgeous. I wonder how many internal organs I’d have to sell?

I’d be OK with a small screen that is used ONLY for the backup camera. Not a touchscreen, just a very basic display. When you’re not backing up, it shuts off (or just shows the clock and radio station). No navigation, no menus, nothing distracting.

Ah yes, the classic “Americans vs. Roundabouts” conundrum. Growing up in rural northern California, I remember when our town’s worst intersection was replaced with a roundabout because people kept running red lights and crashing into each other there.

I love cassette tapes. Yes, the quality is usually meh (although it can be astoundingly good on really high-end tapes and equipment) but it’s just such a visceral experience. Nothing on a touchscreen will ever compare to that “ka-CHUNK” when you slide a tape into a car deck, or the hard-earned satisfaction of timing a…

It’s going to be a while before autonomous driving is anything more than headline fodder. Wake me up when we have KITT.

Oh god. I’m having nightmarish visions of Hummer douchebros sneaking up on smaller cars (or cyclists) and suddenly crabbing in front of them. This is going to be the new coal rolling.

Cars is unironically one of the best car movies ever made, certainly better than the universally god-awful F&F franchise.

I like this. I really, really like this.

What about socks?

Every time a new F&F thing comes out, I think it can’t possibly be any stupider than the last one. Every time, it somehow is.

Even so, Hellcat Asshole had no way of knowing that there weren’t kids in there. Attempting a burnout in traffic should be an instant license-go-bye-bye offense.