I have had roses for about ten days now and they are just starting to go a bit ragged and I have never once looked at them and thought about the inevitability of death. I am pleased with my shallowness.

Jesus Christ, this is what happens when you become too rich for people to tell you that you’re a tedious asshole.

I know, right? It’s edam shame; to string those guys along, thinking they might someday be able to get some cheese, only to leave them feeling blue.

You’ve gouda be kidding me.

Her family, particularly her father, had pressured her to fabricate the story precisely because they were upset by Ramirez coming out as gay. Her father hoped these charges would enable him to win a custody battle.

Especially given that a lot of the people who could be killed were already killed last time.

It’s Canada. There is not at will employment, it is a different structure than the USA.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that Margaret Atwood will call them liars. 

He is also chronically addicted to strippers and insta models 

If Gigi Hadad is fat, I’m a stegosaurus filled with nachos.

I knew Tommy casually when I was in college and he had People’s Place in Elmira New York. He asked me out a couple of times, totally wacked on coke and weed. I found him to be predatory and already full of himself.

10/10 would watch

omg is Taylor Swift licking Drake’s butthole?

it’s all in your water

OK, so the annoying thing to me about crosswalk buttons is when people stand there pushing them over and over and over and over and over and over until the light changes. I just want to smack them upside the back of the head and yell, “PUSHING IT OVER AND OVER DOESN’T MAKE THE LIGHT CHANGE ANY FASTER YOU IDIOT!”…

“He goes to talk. He doesn’t go to commit a crime. They talk and it seems like there is still this spark between them, this unfinished business emotionally... Certainly, that’s how Ross feels. He doesn’t force himself upon her.”

I’m extra pissed because Anne’s dress is clearly the superior of the two. Like, at least if they’d been similar and Anne’s was worse, I would get it, but that clearly was not the case.

Yet another example of Amanda stealing something from another woman.

Oh no, hugs to you! I’ve been there. It’s the worst. My friend gave me some advice when I went through the same thing, to move my furniture around a and just make my place look different for a while. If you keep things as they are, all the spaces where kitty used to be are empty and the absence is more visible.…

When I first hit publish, I had put “pendant” instead of “pedant.” I corrected it immediately, but it wasn’t showing up right away. Those were a tense 3 minutes as I waited for the edit to show up and hoped that no pedants would show up to call me out for using the wrong word for pedant.