Fire Investigator: We're so sorry, Mr. Blake, but all your possessions were lost in the fire. I know it's tough knowing that irreplaceable things, like your Grand Slam trophies, are gone forever.

Whoooosh, right over your head

The rules of this fight are confusing. So far I see:

The girl in pink was the aggressor. She dug her own hole.

Not even close, a private jet is insanely expensive to maintain. A LearJet 35 will run you about $725k-1.1 million to buy (cheap). But you are looking at 100-120K a year in maintenance fees. Then you will need to charter a crew to fly it for each trip. You would need to fly a lot, in order to hit the break even point…

YES.

I have often wondered whether or not I would have better success applying to jobs with Jane Smith than with my vaguely "black"/Arabic/Indian name.

My cousin and his wife used to post this shit DAILY to each other and they lived in a fucking one bedroom apartment. Our entire family made fun of them to their faces until they both shut down their profiles.

Facebook has made me utterly loathe so many friends, relatives, and acquaintances of mine that it's unreal. And for that, I thank it.

I have a contact on facebook who has fully embodied the spirit and lifestyle of a Rastafarian (he's white of course). Mix in a bit of bipolar disorder and you have an absolute train-wreck of a man with a platform for easily, and very frequently, sharing his opinions. He also makes 'music'. As a result I've been…

Overly Personal Impersonal Zombies: "Six years ago, I made the greatest decision of my life and married (tagged spouse name). Darling, as much as I loved you then, I love you even more every day. Happy anniversary!"

If you look at FB MARK ZUCKERBERG as a tool, and only a tool, then it HE can be useful PELTED WITH GRAPEFRUIT.

Facebook still serves one purpose for me: to check in on my crazy fundamentalist Christian college classmate. Since we graduated he has done several wonderful things like writing his own Christian fiction (my favorite one is from the perspective of a true believer captured by Muslim terrorists coming to terms with the…

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.

yeah but that's just because you're not allowed near kids

At first, I was surprised by how incredibly level-headed she was through all of this. Then I realized how often she's had to touch his naked body and figured she's probably mastered the art of burying her emotions.

THEY DID IT!!!!!!!

BREAKING: CLIPPERS OWNER BUYS NEVADA RANCH.

If I had a dollar for every time I've fallen victim to the ol' Moby Dick bait-n-cuff...

The ol' moby dick bait n cuff'..oldest trick in the book