Except it isn't just shopping-shopping. This means we can go grocery shopping on Sunday, which is actually really important today. Especially when in Paris now, so many parents are extremely overworked and kids often go to school on Saturday. France is not what it used to be. We work like dogs now to keep our…

Tabasco in guacamole?

It's is much ado about nothing, which is his whole point. This writer is trying to make him look petulant and awful, but really he's being quite reasonable (and snarky, but who doesn't love a bit of deserved snark?).

jack white, the university of oklahoma, pitchfork, jezebel – everyone connected to this story is an asshole idiot. including me for commenting on it. fuck me.

I really don't think this would look anywhere near as bad without the crowbarred wisecracks telling me what I'm supposed to think between every paragraph. I'm struggling to find anything wrong with this, and I'm not even a Jack White fan.

Two of my kittehs say, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

V Day is just like any other day. I'm spending it watching Chef and hanging with my main dude, George

Also, buy a new house when you need to vacuum.

Ha. OMG. This is actually great story. My parents were in Vegas so my grandparents were watching us and they didn't follow the standard Friday morning drill into me the spelling words schedule so I was nervous. So nervous. The new student from Yugoslavia asked me what was wrong and she grabbed her pencil and she…

This falls more into the most absurd lie I've ever gotten away with. And because it would absolutely dox me should it be read by much of my family, anyone I went to college with as well as their family and friends, I've created a burner account for this tale.

Once, in a fit of drunken derring-do, at the height of Riverdance mania, I convinced an entire bar in France that I was an accomplished Irish step dancer. I've never taken a lesson in my life.

I eloped when I was 19 to a boyfriend I had only dated a month. I didn't tell my parents and just said we were moving in together. A month later I deeply regretted it and filed for divorce. It took two years to finalize and I had already started dating my now husband during that period. I didn't tell any of my friends…

When I was in my sophomore year of high school, I was threatened with being held back a grade because I started cutting class and my grades were tanking. One day I got pulled into the office and talked to by my guidance counselor and an assistant principal before they went and told my parents.

"I love you too."

She looks like she works at American Apparel!

said she was a 'rich kid' who should not be at Sundance.

I had a nightmare about that and I only read the title.

Uh, obviously those are stuffed penguins, the real penguins wore those sweaters probably in a controlled environment as they healed, not on a beach somewhere. The point is the story. Also, THAT I HAZ TO HAZ THAT 'PENGUIN CLASSICS' SWEATER SOMEONE MAKE IT FOR ME.

A more accurate image would be strawberry jam: