I'm pretty sure I could masturbate to his album on repeat.

About Sam Smith... I'm really surprised no one is talking about the whole Tom Petty thing. I mean, he, or one of the writers on the song, stole from Tom Petty. Tom Petty was like WTF and then he was able, after the fact, to get a partial co-write credit to sweep it under the rug before this kid's big win. Think it's…

when will we get justice for sia

He always reminds me of the Emperor from Star Wars. Apparently I am not the only one. don't say that to any of your Catholic friends, though. They get REALLY offended.

He's very Palpatine to me.

I always thought he looked like the emperor from Star Wars.

Haw Haw. Iggy can't live a normal life and the pizza dude is going to get fired.

Being Better than the last guy doesn't always mean you are good.

Yeah, me too. And one time my husband and I were at a restaurant where they had one stall for men and one stall for women, but the men's stall didn't have any soap or paper, so he went into the woman's stall while I was lookout. And there have been a few times where the male cleaning staff was in the bathroom with me…

Hell, sometimes I just want to see if the men's bathroom is cooler than the women's.

I do believe the grossest foods in the world are to be found in the UK.

Does accidental ingestion count? If so...

There is a Grammy for Best Recording Package, which is basically the album art Grammy, and you're right, Iggy would not get it if it was awarded for her album — the Art Director for the packaging would.

Completely.

Wait, hold up. She's just in an ad in the magazine? So really, Sports Illustrated hasn't actually done shit?

As long as you wash your face, wearing makeup is not going to have a big effect on the quality of your actual skin. No chemicals you say? So... no face wash? No moisturizer? No sunscreen? Not even water? No nothin'?

Pfftt.

I am a big fan of people doing whatever the hell they want with themselves — makeup, no…

Can we call this like it is? Sports Illustrated didn't turn down MONEY given to them by an advertiser and get all this great positive publicity as if they are "featuring" a plus size model, when it's the advertiser who is featuring her.

I wrote this at age nine:

I'm anxiously awaiting the day when we're all just sprayed with a wearable foam material in a nice, bland greige color.