And yet nothing on earth is worse than having to listen to your roommate all puffy and sweaty whining about their limp coke dick when you are high and making a sandwich at 3 in the morning.

Yeah, probably. Kipnis will either get in on the player’s vote or as a manager’s selection too as he’s the obvious Indian to be included.

Ah, okay. He’s fourth amongst AL 1B in WAR, ahead of Teixeira, Abreu, and Pujols and the latter two (especially Pujols, with his .285 OBP) who don’t really belong in the top five at the position.

Yeah, he is a really close second to Cruz in terms of WAR. Ortiz and Martinez are both hitting for shit and have no place balloting in the top five.

He’s played less than a quarter of his games at first. He should be in the top five at DH without question.

For comparison’s sake, here are Fangraph’s WAR leaders for each position, with their current place in the balloting in parentheses:

Nah, I have a healthy relationship with women.

You know, if you go to a mall and violently shit yourself in the food court, you can get even MORE of the negative attention that you’re seeking.

I hope robots come to your house and eat your face, the gem on your hand has turned red Logan and no one gives a fuck about your generic fucking nostalgia.

Anyone who starred my post exhibits the lowest form of moral cowardice.

I made that comment for no other purpose than to provoke that sort of internal conflict.

This type of cruel-minded snark is exactly the kind of attitude that leads to me getting so much shit for each one of my comments receiving exactly one recc.

If you don't have the simple human courage to murder them for their genetic undesirability (or at least forcibly sterilise them), you have no room to complain. Make sure you tell your future nieces and nephews that their parents had no right to have them because they are subhuman!

hahahahahahahahahahaha gay people! HOLY SHIT, HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT... OR SHOULD I SAY CUM?!? Like, tell me about your dick in detail and how hilarious it would be if you frottaged with a dude to completion. Wouldn’t it be funny to dip your fingers in the combined pool of jism and then wipe them across your…

I’m not going to debate someone who is basing their argument on anonymous second-hand claims.

One. He beat Ricky Thompson (3-7-1) twice. They actually fought three times, with Thompson winning the first. Thompson’s other two wins are guys who only have a handful of fights. No pictures or videos of these fighters appear to exist, but basically I assume there is a boxing league of husky hobos who fight in small…

He beat him to the point of tears. It was close in the first two rounds, where Cormier took a round, and the third was only a narrow Jones win, but Jones dominated in the championship rounds, got a couple of takedowns just to prove to Cormier that his world-class wrestling wasn’t strong enough to stop the champ, and…

I'm going to grab a Markov chain to tow you away.

Hey, remember that (admittedly lucrative) child labour that your parents decided you should do? It took up most of the first decade of your life? Wouldn't you like to revisit THAT?

Four. He beat one Dakota Talbott (2-15) twice.