Good morning, how are you?

Ooh that slider so scandalous
And you know another catcher can’t handle it
So you throwin that thang like who’s the ish
With a look in yer eyes so Yu Darvish
Uh

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

Can’t wait for that 11-6 victory over the Jags in week 17 to cement their playoff spo....oh shit the Bills and Jets won their games.

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks spends four years on an island....alone. When he returns to civilization, his estranged wife notes “We got a football team now.”

There is no stronger representation to the world about what America is about than this. I’m so confused when the governing body wants to sanction this, the best propaganda we can send out. This reminds people everywhere that they too can live somewhere where they can speak out without fear. This is a shining example…

I knew without looking that the game was in Phoenix.  Griner only does this kind of shit at home.  

Always a comment truther.

On the bright side, this is the only time a guy from Philly can hope to get doubled teamed by a couple of 11's.

You’re not an intelligent person and nobody values anything you have to say.

welp, it’s a good thing it’s easy to buy a gun in america.

Unless the Phillies are all in on this season, the smart move would be to trade the Phanatic for a mascot with more years of team control left on his deal.

You americans done fucked up and you’ve been fucking up for decades. This has nothing to do with trump or current republican snakes in government.

you really must be a lesbian if you think 6 months is a long period of time.

You clearly haven’t played the actual game. I don’t know why I’m humoring you with a response, but I’m going to disprove you, point-by-point.

yeah it's really hard to tell who they're referring to there in this article about the yankees