First, do not stick me with a fork under any circumstances. Second, silk ties are expensive so please do not ruin my limited stock by smearing them with bodily secretions or oils. Please keep that nasty, lint covered pocket change off your body parts and mine. And get the fuck off my earlobes. That hurts.

Indeed. Been too long since I read the books.

That can't happen. It is a well-known fact that the Marmot uterus automatically shuts down when another species attempts to fertilize it.

Amen.

Let's try this in some new forms:

These complaints are from actual guy-types of people? This sounds as made up as those Penthouse Forum "I never thought this would happen to me" thingys. Perhaps the editors sat down a bunch of interns and said "think of a bunch of generic, stereotyped complaints that adult men might have" and they were off to the…

Curiously, God is also my copy editor. Of course, my own personal writing coach is an 8-foot-tall neon green panda named Rex. He doesn't claim to have created the universe, but when you get a couple of beers in him, he'll tall you about the meth lab he built in Montana once.

Yeah, the open air stillsuits drove me bonkers, though I guess an entire movie of people dressed as Sandpeople or walking around in Burkas would be awkward. But still, it drove me nuts.

I agree completely. Adapting Dune well would be extremely difficult. The SyFy version was pretty good, but so detailed that it really was aimed mostly at people who are thoroughly steeped in it. I don't know how an adaptation for a general audience might work.

Perhaps my vehement hatred of the story line tainted me, but I thought everyone looked pretty silly, except for Paul's father, who looked absolutely like I had pictured him, in both dress and physique, and had a really nifty uniform.

The night I saw Dune was the first time I ever felt a pressing need to get drunk and throw up as a way of forgetting.

Good God, more horrible costumes for perhaps the most horrible adaptation of a beloved Science Fiction novel. Ever. In the entire history of the Universe. All 13-something billion years.

"Facial intercourse" is easily the least arousing description of sex I have read lately.

Maybe that's why they evolved to fight back with tiny spiky missiles as sperm delivery vehicles. Kind of a passive-aggressive oral sex thing going on with the squid, I guess.

So the bottom line lesson here would be that it is an incredibly bad idea to give a squid a blowjob?

We learn that:

I still love my 120 gb Zune. At least the one that actually works. The other one died a quick and horrible death. But the working one is fabulous.

I am all in favor of spicing things up in the bedroom, but most of these suggestions seem to come from someone who has not ever actually had sex, or any kind of emotional relationship to speak of. Or perhaps, just perhaps, it is a fiendish plot to prevent young women from engaging in sex too early by reconvincing them…

Yes, this amount of work definitely seems like taking the rats out from the walls, shampooing them, fluffing their fur, tying a cute little ribbon onto their heads and hoping everyone mistakes them for award-winning poodles.

Come on, we straight white makes are already afflicted by being boring and generic. Now you're just piling on us.