Keeping quiet while nodding sagely has gotten me through many otherwise completely incomprehensible situations.

Maybe we should crust the satellites in tiny little pumps so if they fall from space and land in the water, they will make no splash, like Olympic divers made entirely of platinum.

Hm, a hull crusted in tiny pumps spewing out water at variable intensity. Sounds extremely inexpensive. So maybe we can toss an extra billion or two on top of the $9 billion-a-pop tab for a shiny new Ford class aircraft carrier. And then we can coat the flight deck in platinum to give it a little bling factor.

What's impressive, however, is that he was also steering with his wang at the time.

It was AIM that taught me that I hate instant messaging/live chat more than nails on a chalkboard (remember those?) and moved me to figure out, on every possible program, how to log on without showing up as "online"

Just so long as Mt. Everest doesn't show up as a fucking Foursquare location. I have no interest in who is Mayor of Mt. Everest today.

This is the sort of entrepreneurial spirit that will help us compete with the Chinese and Indians in the 21st century. Why are we punishing this poor young man, particularly since he had a 4.54 GPA?

Only a matter of time before the creatures have a reality show. "Titan Shore." "The Real Housebugs of Titan." Something like that.

@afraidofauntieem: My first car was a 1980 Pontiac Phoenix, with a manual transmission no less. It was the most comfortable car I have ever been in. So I could sit in splendid comfort while I waited for the tow truck to come haul me to the garage.

@Novaload: Bonus!

I recently traded in a BMW for a stripped down Jeep Wrangler. Don't speak to me about "Driver Involvement:" I suddenly find myself an integral part of the steering process. And, at times, the suspension system.

I agree with your analysis based on the newer Star Treks, from next Generation on. I thought they were increasingly tedious and silly. But going back and watching the original with my kids, I have realized that the show was a lot grittier and more dangerous than the later incarnations would suggest (the stupid Prime…

My friend in high school had a 1970 Mustang, and somehow it never looked quite as cool as this vehicle. Perhaps the general suckage of the 70's actually began with the 1970 model year.

@ArtBitch: I love how the mom's first reaction to her daughter's distress is "Have you been drinking too much?"

uh. That's not very ladylike.

I dunno. Everything looks OK to me. Just another normal day at the ol' crib.

This story is so depressing. But now where can I turn to relieve that depression. Where did I put those damned sugar pills?

Her lips look like they are about to explode. Someone take the Collagen Injection Machine away from that girl.

"a smooth consistency and sucked all the moisture out of the mouth as soon as it touched the tongue. For hours, an unpleasant taste of dirt lingered."