I give him some credit for barely flinching when a foul ball is flying right at him. Everyone near him ducks for cover.

So your bachelor party sucked then?

Later in the night..

Go easy on the guy. He's tired from installing a screen door on his submarine.

Are there any complaints about Lenny Kravitz being criminally underused? "Fly Away" is better than anything Katy Perry or Missy Elliott song. #hottake

I sent in a complaint to the FCC regarding Pete Carroll's middle finger to basic human intelligence. Any reason why that is not on the list, Barry?

At what point does a guy shooting at police on live TV stop being a "suspect"?

Sam Bradford backed up by Mark Sanchez. That's a 99 Kia Sephia backed up by a 98 Kia Sephia.

The Falcons, Panthers & Bucs just said thank you. This trade makes no sense. Ask Drew Brees to restructure or something. You just signed him last year and now you trade him? bizarre.

Things got even more awkward when he started cheering "Harden! Harden!"

"I've clearly learned my lesson," Mr. Blank continued. "From now on, I will ensure that Roger Goodell is invited to my home the night before games more often, and then we can avoid these sorts of enforcement actions going forward."

No Scotch?

Like any good drunk, he waited till the day AFTER the Super Bowl to do this.

I'm a Giants fan and that is Eliface. I see it all the fucking time.

Also in trouble for exceeding its W limit? America.

Chicago isn't even close to being the best team in the East.

As a Bulls fan, I still think the Hawks are the best in the East.

My take-away from this article is that Mike Madson, Rob Demovsky, and Bart Hubbuch must be insufferable douches.

Look, if I want to hear from a governor who is serious about doughnuts, it's going to be New Jersey.

Goodell: Well, see, what you have to understand is that Marshawn grabbing his junk during the game doesn't make the NFL or its owners any money, whereas selling pictures of him doing so does. So, what I'm saying is, I'm a shameless whore.