bullshit. I was cut off twice in half a block by 1 guy in a Yukon texting. I eyes him at a light and gave him the “hang up” hand signal. He looked at me like I wanted to start something (because I can only assume he was some super thug) so I told him to roll down his window and said “you nearly put me into the curb…

Wait, are you telling me it would take more than five sailors and a couple of dozen retired seamen to get an Iowa Class BB into action? Next you’ll be saying that they couldn’t get her underway in less than 12 hours. I’ve seen it done in the movies, so it must be true!

its just me, I know. I don’t like musicalized videos. I want to hear the ambient sound.

Right before she starts dragging her uterus across the carpet.

Bill Gotherd, the dirty old man who founded ATI, likes his women with long, curly hair. So they get perms.

It looks like her facial muscles are getting a little tired of holding that expression.

I’m sure Megyn will have some tough questions for them like “how are you and the kids doing? It can’t be easy being so gleefully attacked by the liberal media and the gay extremists.”

The one that goes easy on them as she loves them.

Is this supposed to be some sort of adoring gaze? My dog looks at me like this when I put him in the bathtub.

All because a bad kid was doing bad things

Well, for starters, the bangers killing people in Baltimore and other cities aren’t paid by the taxpayers to keep the peace/enforce the law/not beat the everloving shit out of people.

That statement makes it appear that immunity from all charges ever is the only thing that will satisfy them.

Yeah. I don’t get the complaints. The citizens are merely asking the cops to DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS and protect the population. No one is asking them to walk around on egg-shells. They’re bitching because they’ve developed a culture predicated on the de-basement and unilateral violence of young black men who can be…

They are more afraid of going to jail for doing their jobs properly than they are of getting shot on duty.

As your acting lawyer and life coach it is imperative that you stay in close proximity to Carla Gugino until rescued by the Rock or the judge approves the restraining order.

930 is my dream machine....well, one of them.

Because nothing says patriotism like the battleflag of traitors.

Love him but also Davis Sedaris makes a lot of stuff up:

When I was in 7th grade, I tried to pitch my memoir to my English Composition teacher. She bluntly told me that anyone who writes a memoir under the age of 65 is a charlatan. Not only was I not to write a memoir, I was to avoid anyone who was writing one without due cause like they had an infectious disease.

Many times it is simply lack of opportunity or fear of consequences that keep us from falling into grievous sin even though our fallen hearts would love to indulge the flesh.