And your name is Dallas. Are you into amateur porn or vigilante justice?

What’s your primary sense?

Definitely a female. Probably overweight. It’d be easy to figure out who it was based on how they speak, but unfortunately everybody in Georgia talks like a punch-drunk inbred. Since I haven’t narrowed it down at all, I guess we’ll never know.

I gouged my hand open with an angle grinder by trying to not think about the election results. I figured that if I took the afternoon off from work and undertook a small welding project, somehow things would make more sense, or at the least, I’d be able to point at something post-Trump that I was in control of. Alas.

Dear Ashley,

Dear Americans:

How the fuck did this happen? They were guilty as hell, there was enough evidence to send them away for whatever the maximum sentence was, and nothing.

And with that, obese people everywhere started clicking away at their keyboards, infuriated that somebody suggest that they lay off the sugary drinks, get off their fat asses, and go outside once in a while.

The Marauder is the only car on that list without an Achilles Heel. Even the otherwise reliable Roadmaster is cursed by the dreadful optispark.

He looks like a skin graft on a facial transplant.

Not sure I agree. I think that all it takes to be “black metal” these days is a crazy fast drummer and a four track.

Some Abbath music (not very Beatles-like):

Yet totally legit:

1980 Cadillac Fleetwood.

Not totally true. Black metal is better associated with Norwegian national identity and culture than it is with religion; According to Varg (one of the perpetrators), the church burnings were an extremely belated response to the imposition of Christianity on Norway, not an aggressive assertion of Satanism or any other…

Not so:

That is a seriously fucked up cool engagement photo. Kind of like Abbath’s recreation of Abbey Road:

That drawing of WW would be great if her head wasn’t four times larger than it should be. That, or she’s three feet tall.

Horses for courses. Camaro owners aren’t trying to impress the mentally child-like with an OMGSWEETBURNOUTLOLBBQ at a CC, they’re trying to impress actual children into their cars at an elementary school.

I think his nemesis would have to be a Stingray.