teacups filled with concrete.

lolwrong. The Expanse would have been a good addition for “recent entry”.

Autism ftw.

Jeep Cherokee.

Good call on paying off the mortgage as fast as possible; the interest rate may be low, but it’s far more than you’d get through low-risk investment.

He’s got the chair by the pussy from the look of it too. So, at least he’s honest about his approach to sexual assault.

The tiny little Pocket Tortoise! may not finish first, but he finishes.

This is fucking retarded.

There’s nothing stopping him... he’s already grabbed the GOP by the pussy. He even twisted it around a bit for good measure.

“Mr. Johnson, name one appliance in a typical American household”

That’s Peter Thiel’s thing, not Hillary’s.

Trump lives life by his own terms: “Carpe per naturale eius debent.”

A potato and Skeletor. That poor man.

Wasn’t that Rambo?

How does a bird just “become lodged in a grille”?

I read what I think you thought was a punchline, but I’m still not clear on what species you are. The fact that you can write already makes you extraordinary, whatever you end up being.

I think we’re owed a comment from Twizzlers about Peter Thiel. Afterall, the red ones look like umbilical cords, and umbilical cords are where the freshest, tastiest, most immortality-inducing stem cells are found.

Peter Thiel has gained the ability to see the entirety of space-time by subsisting on a diet consisting of placenta, stem cells, and the spice melange.

Altoids thought it would never happen, and instead of voting stayed up all night playing Counterstrike.

You can’t see awfulness until you reproduce? What species are you?