Enjoy the nanoparticle cancer.

Guessing those are big in Australia.

Three little words: Union salary grid.

It looks like a pink vagina-weevil.

Yeah - it’d really suck if you were to finish a pretty decent career as a yoga instructor, retire to the country, get an unlisted number, and then every two weeks or so have some starry-eyed orphan show up thinking you’re their long-lost father because your ex-brother-in-law thought it’d be HIIIIILARIOUS to slip…

Watch out for green midgets.

Best explanation ever.

Did a blood tsunami then come out of the elevator?

Here’s an idea: DON’T FUCKING HAND HIM YOUR PHONE. Email or message the pic you want to share and done.

Jeffrey Dahmer would have been proud of that metaphor.

The mind recoils in horror, but only for a second. Then curiosity kicks in and MythBusters experiments begin to take shape.

Is it coincidental that VW also owns Lamborghini? They’re just tiered versions of the exact same thing. Neither “brand” produces a vehicle that’s good for anything but driving really slowly down public streets and being noticed. The lower tier version is for crooked real estate agents and rap stars, while the upper…

The more billionaires that die in them, the better.

Regardless of its top speed, I will be waiting patiently for photos of the wrecked, drowned and immolated carcasses of these cars once they reach the hands of the billionaire-moron class. Extra points if insurance refuses to cover them.

Not even wealth - attention. Wealth doesn’t get them headlines; being trashy does.

Jenner is an uninformed moron. Once you get past that, she can say or do whatever she wants, as long as it doesn’t involve any more vehicular homicide.

Have you met Tom? Hating somebody with every fibre of your being who you haven’t met is pretty kvlt.

That would be true if he didn’t take it on public roads.

I don’t know what this, but creativity isn’t it.

Freshman undergrad with no life experience offends himself in addled thought experiment involving a tube sock, hand cream and a dark comedy made before he hit puberty. More at 11.