Wow, it’s like my alter ego wrote this tonight before I started drinking.

Can you run the A11 in college? Two quarterbacks! Everyone is eligible!

Ohhhhhhh, I thought he was referring to this book:

Maybe for the Army game his helmet can show a URL and ‘click here’

I’ve never heard a more milquetoast rendition of the infamous Bobby Knight screed.

But can he do it on a rainy night in Stoke?

It’s been two hours and no waltz jokes yet? You’re all either getting better or getting worse.

“Landshark.”

It’s the phrasing and cagey use of CAPS that keeps me coming back, “I defeated that hangover through sheer SCRAP” is gold. God Bless you and your ridiculous double-thumbs up dance.

Was Taylor swift?

Kind of like if you covered Congress.

And God Bless them for it. Let’s hope Libby Schaff holds firms and Oakland follows suit.

If I may make a small correction...if SAN DIEGO was important to the Chargers’ billionaire owner, he would put up the money for his own damn stadium.

Confirmed.

In a few weeks he’s gonna try the backdoor slider.

NY Post Headline: Leave-o for Bevo

God Dammit it took me a long time to understand that burn. Way too long. I’m slipping.

It’s the ‘Will Jennifer Aniston ever find true love?’ of professional sports.

Already great, but would’ve been 100x greater if he’d vomited.

At least they still have the Rams! Oh.