Bob Stoops is PISSED!

“Not so tough when you’re outside your cars, are ya?”

Is this the face of a cheater?

“They’re not a twelfth man,” Carroll added. “Those guys are like a 9/11, truth. But not 12.”

“6-beers? You talking about pre-tailgating?”

Those fans can’t melt real teams!

I’m all for keeping QB’s protected, because the quality of QB play right now is absolute dogshit and Cam Newton is worth his weight in gold. That being said, I don’t know what you expect Aaron Donald to do there. He didn’t torpedo him with the crown of the helmet, he sort of jumped to potentially bat down a pass and…

MAKE THEM ALL WEAR ROLLERBLADES AND GIVE THEM LONG POLES WITH HOOKS ON THE END FOR SOME REASON!!

All worthless officiating mea culpas, whatever the sport, should be read at a press conference by Hedonism Bot, just to show you how few underlying fucks the offending league gives.