Dude. We get it. You hate us. Everything about the South is awful. We are all racists. We are all so racist that we don’t even know that we’re racist. We are all ignorant, grits-eating, monogrammed jewelry wearing bigots. WE GET IT. You don’t have to like us.

Belle Meade is also the name of a very wealthy neighborhood in Nashville (Taylor Swift and Al Gore live there.) I think it’s more likely that that’s what the name is referring to.

Whenever I stumble upon these two (it’s never intentional), I am always overcome with the same type of cringe-worthy, flush-faced, teenage humiliation I felt when my friends’ moms would get together to drink wine, listen to Billy Joel or some shit, and gossip. It makes me want to lock myself in my room, wrap myself in…

*cough* ;)

It's not a documentary. It's a television drama.

I went to South Dakota during the strangest road trip of my life. The summer after my freshman year of college, my father, who was only in my life about once every five years, called me to ask if I wanted to come visit him in Wyoming. He offered to come pick me up in East Tennessee and then we’d drive to Laramie,…

I was scrolling really quickly and I thought the headline said something about Christian Slater and a glory hole. What disturbs me is that I scrolled back up to find out what it was all about.

I mean, I am very obviously physically disabled. I am severely disfigured. My back is hunched, my hips are contracted, and when I stand I can only look at the floor, not straight ahead and people challenge ME about being on disability (which it took me over five years to get, btw). So, I can't imagine what people with…

I didn't much care for that show. I think his strength lies in improv/talk show formats.

I feel like this video is a metaphor for my attempt at dealing with the cable company today.

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those movies that I absolutely adore, but when I tell my friends how great it is they're going to be all wtf? And I'm going to say you're not the boss of my questionable taste and sit alone in my house watching it over and over and trying to figure out how to make a…

If there were any justice in this world, Andy Richter wouldn't be anyone's second banana. He deserves his own show.

I'm a lesbian. That stops no man. I have been asked out by men at every job I've ever had in my adult life. Most of the time, they knew about my sexual orientation before they asked me out. Sometimes, it was the whole "you just haven't met the right man" mentality, but mostly they were otherwise pretty nice dudes…

Fascinating. Cherries, huh? I might suggest that just to see what it's like. But I don't really miss the ham. My favorite part of any holiday type meal is mashed potatoes anyway.

I have never met another person with a pineapple allergy! I mean, I assume they existed, but I've never actually met one. Sort of like gay Republicans. Anyway, mostly everyone assumes I'm doing the whole "I just don't like pineapple so I'm calling it an allergy" thing, which is very, very untrue. I love pineapple.…

Pardon the butt-in, but I am allergic to bananas and latex. In fact, I was told since I was allergic to latex to also stay away from bananas, kiwi, and chestnuts. Evidently, I'm allergic to a certain protein (or something...I don't know the science) that all of those things share. I'm allergic to pineapple, too, but…

*Deep breath* Ok. Lookie here. I present to you a list of approximately 7631864586 riders that are a zillion times douchier than Jack's: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstage

That's totally a real thing. It's called oral allergy syndrome. And it sucks. I'm sorry.

Same here. I actually have a terrible banana allergy. Have to carry an EpiPen and everything. And people are so good at hiding bananas in things! I'm allergic to pineapple and kiwi, too, but that's pretty easy to avoid. Bananas, though? They end up smeared in everything. It's depressing.